Monday, August 20, 2012

BlogElul: Inventory

During the days leading up to Rosh Hashana, it is customary for many Jews to take a spiritual inventory of themselves. I'm generally someone who is interested in spirituality, but I become a little uncomfortable with a lot of God talk. I've spent a lot of my life wondering where God is. It makes me angry to hear things like- God is everywhere, you just need to look. Or, you're not supposed to understand God, that's why we describe God as a force bigger than ourselves. It's just too intangible for me. I absolutely feel a connection between myself and other people, and myself and community. Do I feel connected to a God? Not really. So much of our liturgy is filled with God talk. If I start to pay too much attention to my siddur during t'fillot I get really distracted. I'm sometimes not sure what I believe if I don't fully believe in God. Sometimes I wonder why I love services so much. I then remember the music. It stirs something deep inside of me that I can't explain. I'm sure some people would call that God. I just call it good music.
When you are taking a spiritual inventory, what do you notice? What do you need in the coming year to enhance your spirituality?

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